It's bizarre ... Rock Star has become a parody of itself in just its second season. Denied of any long-standing INXS-type bands in need of a singer, the producers seem to have cobbled together a sort of poor man's metal supergroup, "Supernova" (which causes that lousy Liz Phair song to course through my head every time i hear the name). The band consists of Mötley Crüe drummer and hot chick magnet Tommy Lee, and a couple of musicians best known for being substitute performers in big acts ... Gilby Clarke, who took over guitar duties for Guns 'N Roses when Izzy Stradlin left (and who i keep confusing with Butthole Surfers leader and "Jesus Built My Hotrod" scatman Gibby Haynes), and Jason Newsted, who stepped in as Metallica's bassist after Cliff Burton died in 1986 until leaving in 2000 (probably tired of taking James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich's shit). I personally could never understand why Metallica needed a bass player, since their music is so guitar-heavy. Then there's the anti-Simon judge/commentator Dave Navarro, who is able to find something good to say about the most awful performer. I was amazed by one of his rare less than congratulatory remarks, in which he said "I feel like i'm looking at the winner of some contest". Is that a prediction? Isn't that a positive comment? Have we just entered some alternate reality where this endeavor is NOT considered a contest?

The bottom line is that the 15 or so people they've collected for this farce include some truly horrible singers. I've seen the Cars classic "Just What I Needed" performed like a pole dance by someone named Storm Large, which MUST be a porn name. Then there was the Aussie's acoustic rendition of Nirvana's "Come As You Are", which Veronica cleverly noted looked and sounded like Billy Crystal's impersonation of Sammy Davis Jr. in old SNL sketches. More than a few of the contestants have decided to whip out a guitar in addition to singing, something i'm not sure wins them any points. Maybe (MAYBE) INXS wanted a true bandmate and not a stand-in singer à la Mark Wahlberg in Rock Star, but these guys? Doubtful. Tommy Lee? Let's be serious ... the guy just wants to get laid. All the men can probably leave right now. The other guys? They're rockers! They just want someone to stand in front of them and get nuts while they lay down the music! I don't think they're interested in sharing the songwriting or instrumental responsibilities with some bozo they won in a contest.