Some words of wisdom from ESPN's Sports Guy, taken from his latest mailbag.

Short of smashing your cell phone, disconnecting the computer, locking yourself in a monastery, and swallowing the key, is there any possible way to avoid having an apocalyptic-level fight with your woman the day before you take a vacation together? I feel like I'm some poor slob standing in the Wrestlemania ring when the Undertaker's music hits, and I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm sure there's going to be screaming, a headache, and a sweaty body lying victoriously over mine.
--Jared, Murphysboro, Ill.

Sports Guy: There's no way. It's impossible. It's never happened. It's the sibling to the Separation Fight, when they pick the fight right as you're about drive to the airport for the weekend so they can leave some sort of psychological mark on you, almost like a dog peeing on a tree. But here's what you COULD do: Pretend you have a stomach virus the night before, plant a new book in the bathroom, then spend the night going in and out of there and playing up how sick you are. Not only will she feel bad, the maternal instinct will kick in and she'll make you chicken soup and stuff. Plus, you can finish a book. Really no downside here.

My afternoon has been wrecked by a simple torment. I could not for the life of me remember the name of a song from my childhood. It's a trumpet instrumental that i thought had some Spanish title ... therefore i spent a while searching for songs called "The Matador" or "The Toreador". Having exhausted my knowledge of bullfighting, i then started looking at surf rock compilations as for some reason i associated the song with them. It wasn't on the soundtrack to The Endless Summer (awesome movie, btw), nor on Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction soundtrack homage to surf. No luck on the Rock Instrumental Classics Volume 5: Surf collection, although i'm going to have to pick that up too. I really didn't want to be reduced to humming the tune to friends and family and seeing if it rang any bells. I remember hearing it in a movie not too long ago, but what was it? Either of the Kill Bills? Nope. The Big Lebowski? No again. Goddamit!

Then after hours of torture, i had a strange thought ... could it possibly have been on the soundtrack to the decidedly silly but oddly charming Annette Funicello/Frankie Avalon 1987 revival flick Back to the Beach? I managed to find a track list on IMDB, and spotted a song called "The Lonely Bull". Aha! My memory is worth something after all. Digging up a Herb Alpert greatest hits CD on Amazon, i listened to the 30 second preview and ... eureka! Now i'm a bit peeved that if i had simply done a google search for "bull trumpet instrumental", it would've been on top of the list. I had tried everything from "surf rock trumpet instrumental" to "trumpet soundtrack endless summer". 20/20 hindsight, i suppose.

What's bizarre is that i can now remember exactly when the song plays in the movie ... Frankie Avalon is running into the surf to catch the climactic wave in the surf contest. The "humunga cowabunga from down unda". Where does my brain keep this information?

My day has otherwise been quite good ... the reviews on my postdoc Ivana's first paper came back from Molecular Imaging, and are not bad ... some more work to do, but nothing we hadn't anticipated. I'm also chugging through various other affairs at work and making good progress. Booya.

Had a very busy Friday, attending my first episode of the new weekly Radiation Physics lit review, in which i got to impart the findings of two papers from a recent issue of Physics in Medicine and Biology. Somehow i got assigned one paper on non-invasive measurement of blood glucose levels using optical coherence tomography and one on receiver operating characteristic analysis of mammography systems ... not my cuppa but interesting nonetheless. After an afternoon catching up on correspondences and setting up meetings for this week, i headed off to my softball game. Fred and Zac had organized a rematch/grudge match between the two MIPS teams. I took my customary spot at first, and off we went. We had a defensive duel going on for a few innings, until our opponents (the Radicals) unloaded for eight runs. Fred then went to a new strategy, suspiciously and potentially illegally having all the Rays men bat in succession. We closed the gap and may or may not have tied it in the bottom of the ninth, depending on who you talk to. Fred convinced everyone to play another inning, so the Radicals went up to bat. We got our three outs without allowing any runs, but unfortunately on the last play our pitcher Tom took a line drive shot off the top of his right foot, and went down writhing in pain. It's even more unpleasant considering that in the second inning the same thing happened to his left foot. Eek. We decided to call it a game.

I sped home and fed the Tara dog, then showered, beautified myself (as much as possible), and drove up to SF to fetch Veronica from work. We had a nice dinner at Sanraku, before queueing up for the 11pm showing of ... yes, here it comes ... Snakes on a Plane. Jenz was having her birthday festivities there, and succeeded in collecting perhaps thirty people for the show. A really silly movie no doubt, but we had a blast because of the mood of the audience. This was Rocky Horror atmosphere ... everyone shouting things at the screen and being smart alecs. Right up my alley, and lots o' fun. I made my best quip when Samuel Jackson and Julianna Margulies got cuddly at the end, shouting "snakes in my pants!". I'm funny.

I had to head home and forgo the post-movie 1am dancing at the Stud, as i was due to attend a mini-symposium at Stanford the next morning. I succeeded in rising at 7:30am and making my way over to the Stanford Cancer Center, and heard a few hours of lectures on the future of robotic radiosurgery. It was a good overview of the field, and when my interest level dipped i did some brainstorming about future research. I returned home around noon to find that our neighbors had hired some workers to trim their palm tree, which was growing against the fence dividing our properties. They had the wood chipper running full steam, and were chainsawing branches left and right to feed to it. We let them come into our yard to tidy, and while there one of the workers found a squirrel nest that had fallen from the tree with a trimmed branch. Lo and behold, two tiny baby squirrels were inside, a little jostled and dazed but okay. Veronica checked a few online FAQ's and resolved to make a warm nest in a box for them, laying it at the base of the tree for their mother to come fetch them after the workers left ... apparently unlike other animals squirrels don't abandon their young if they have human smell on them. We went out for lunch and shopping, and upon returning found the nest empty. I'll go with the happy analysis ... mommy found her young and took them to a new nest.

I never really listened to the Durutti Column much, but was encouraged to do so while expanding my Factory Records collection. Steve Coogan as Tony Wilson as God in 24 Hour Party People sums up the Vini Reilly outfit excellently ... "it's good music to chill out to".

Returning home from the symposium, i also checked the footie scores on Soccernet and found the news was good and bad. Good that Liverpool and Arsenal could both only manage draws against lesser opposition (newly promoted Sheffield United and perennial underachievers Aston Villa, respectively). Bad that my fantasy footie performers had completely crapped out ... no goals for Thierry Henry, Luis Garcia, Damien Duff, or Tomas Rosicky. A whopping total of 4.5 points for my Liverpool-based defense, featuring a completely underwhelming -2 points for Jose Reina in goal. Egad. I'm in last in my league, a staggering 90 points out of first and ahead of only the three people who didn't complete their rosters and hence have zero points. An inauspicious debut to say the least.

V wasn't feeling well on Saturday night, so i figured we would miss Fred and Amanda's birthday party for their one year old son Ethan and his 87 year old grand-uncle. She napped while i played Me and My Katamari on the PSP. That game gets so fun once you begin rolling the large (10+ meters) katamaris. I made it through 7 or 8 levels before V woke up and said she was feeling much better, so we readied and made it to the party a scant 3 hours late. Luckily Fred had just finished his host duties and was happy that we were there so he could eat with us. We chatted until 12:30am, with me taking frequent conversational breaks to play peek-a-boo with Ethan.

I arose at 10am on Sunday to learn that Chelsea had made an excellent start to the season, clobbering bogey team Manchester City 3-nil at Stamford Bridge thanks to goals from John Terry, Frank Lampard, and Didier Drogba. The Drogba goal in particular was brilliant, a diving header to turn a low Wayne Bridge cross past backup City keeper Nicky Weaver. Positive omens all around, from impressive play from Bridge to stake his claim as a starting wing back, to a solid performance by the still-young Arjen Robben, to a commanding display in central midfield by Michael Essien (soon to be locked in battle with the recovering Michael Ballack for the starting spot beside Lamps). I'm not sold on the just-completed signing of Dutch fullback Khalid Boulahrouz ... i remember him gouging Cristiano Ronaldo in the World Cup with a studs first challenge. As much as the annoying Manchester United and Portugal winger deserved it, i'm not sure someone nicknamed "Khalid the Cannibal" is a good addition to a squad that had too many cards last year ... a poor 15th in the fairplay table, down from our usual position between 5th and 10th. I must shamefully admit i'm holding out hope that we sign longterm target Ashley Cole from Arsenal, although the arrival of Boulahrouz dampens those hopes and also causes worry that wantaway defender William Gallas may soon get his wish, to the detriment of our defense. Despite Chelsea's good Sunday performance, of my fantasy players Andriy Shevchenko earned no points and Michael Ballack didn't play. Fan-freakin-tastic. United also played well, destroying Fulham 5-1. But god durn it my only United fantasy squad member Gabriel Heinze also didn't play. Apparently my fantasy research is fundamentally flawed. I think my problem is that i'm relying on big-team, big-name players instead of signing lower-profile but high-return players from smaller clubs. Despite the fact that i read Soccernet religiously, i'm seemingly still not well-versed in the nitty gritty statistics of English footie.

The rest of my Sunday was spent on the domestic tip, aiding Veronica in painting our kitchen, replacing an old electrical socket and two dimmer switches, and doing loads upon loads of laundry. I passed out in the armchair around 11pm after folding my last batch of towels. I didn't even get to watch the new Venture Bros., but luckily it's waiting for me on Tivo. I did see the latest Metalocalypse, which was quite good. Really dark, biting, evil sense of humor in that show. As any show with a character named Murderface should be.

V and i fly off to Hawaii on Friday, a direct flight to Kailua-Kona followed by a short island hop to Honolulu. Watching Snakes on a Plane, in which the titular plane is on its way from Hawaii to LA, a week before flying the opposite direction wasn't a good morale-booster. Anyhow, i'm contemplating taking scuba and/or surfing lessons while there. So maybe i should be more worried about sharks.

putting on my good shoes, stepping on the grass waiting for some good news, it's gonna get here fast doing things my own way like i always did saying what they all say, feeling like a kid take a chance and do what you have to do don't look down, just look straight ahead of you hang around and get off on the view don't look down, just do what you wanna do getting up at midnight just to watch the game climbing up a streetlight, sittin' on a plane i don't even know you but i understand there's something i could show you, i'm just another fan i can't wait for the sunrise, high up in the sky i can't wait for tomorrow, time is gonna fly

Reviewing articles submitted for publication in peer-reviewed journal is an important step of career development for a professional scientist, reflecting his recognition as an expert in his field. It's something i've welcomed as i've made the transition from postdoc to faculty, and i now serve as a reviewer for five or six different journals. That said, reviewing *bad* papers is a torture like no other. Being forced to read ten or twenty pages of poorly written text, sometimes with as many as twenty associated figures, and then write an intelligent, comprehensive summary of the validity of the work and its significance without devolving into a series of four-letter words ... that's a true challenge.

Somehow between 2001 and now i've become a hardass. Again ... who knew.

I was all set to have a productive year. Get grants out, write a bunch of papers, etc etc ... and then a seemingly innocuous email from Jeremy Popscene popped into my inbox and blew those hopes to s@$#. I've been invited to play in a fantasy Premiership football league on Yahoo, where you're given an initial budget of 100 credits and have to use it to purchase a squad of 11 players from around the English league. Each week you receive points based on how well each member of your team performs in their respective match, rewarding goals, assists, tackles, and so on. Each player's valuation is adjusted according to their performance, meaning if you decide to sell one of your squad members you may make or lose credits depending on how they were priced when you bought them. I was able to purchase my initial squad in a mere hour, with 2 credits to spare. I've posted my starting lineup, but will hold off on making it public until the league begins this weekend so as to avoid tipping off my rivals. I'm in general happy with it, but we'll see how well i'm doing when next May rolls around.

I've been a sourpuss regarding Chelsea after their less-than-impressive preseason, culminating in defeat to bitter rivals Liverpool in the Charity Shield last weekend. My intuition tells me this will be the year the wheels come off our ego-mobile. We might be only an Arjen Robben temper tantrum away from the squad going into meltdown. Of course, this is the same intuition that predicted Brazil and Argentina would be squaring off in the World Cup final last month. The Blues have their share of positive omens, such as the promising partnership between Frank Lampard and Andriy Shevchenko, and the convenient excuse that our poor performances in warmup matches could be due to a lack of fitness considering that the vast majority of our squad spent their summer vacation playing in the World Cup. Only time will tell.

My tooth is mostly back to normal. I was able to chew my lunch on that side without any major problems ... a little residual soreness but nothing that scared me from letting food or drink on that side of my mouth. What a baby i am ... i don't recall suffering this much when i got cavities filled in years past. Yet more proof that getting old stinks.

The new season of the Venture Bros. continues to impress, with last week's episode juxtaposing double dates of Hank and Dean Venture and of the Monarch and Phantom Limb proving hilarious. As always, the references are the kickers, with members of the Guild of Calamitous Intent complaining about how many Yaz albums another member had on his iPod. I'm noticing a trend in the new season to inflict considerable bodily harm on Dr. Venture in each episode ... he's already had an eyeball knocked out of his head by newly-recruited gangsta henchmen of the Monarch, and had an arm torn off by a marauding Guild squad. But Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer's sense of humor remains as vibrant as ever, and as i tell Veronica every chance i get, the Venture Bros. is still the best show on TV.

For that matter, i could watch Adult Swim all day long before feeling an urge to partake of Project Runway, Rock Star, or *groan* All My Children. And speaking of AMC, has anyone seen this camera thing they've started doing? Ostensibly for the sake of grittiness and realism, they now use handheld cameras to film the whole show, meaning the shots are frequently bouncing and moving around. I can only guess at the explanation i gave above ... the end result makes me nauseous. Above and beyond the effects of the show itself.

I'm about halfway through volume 3 of the Complete Age of Apocalypse Epic collection. Very good ... it's definitely accelerating and building suspense as it nears its resolution. Unfortunately, it seems the climactic volume 4 won't be published until November. I could buy the original comics that will be collected in this volume individually on eBay ... which may happen if i get totally obsessed as volume 3 draws to a close. My first subscribed issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly arrived the other day, an event that makes me very happy. I can totally zone out and relax while reading a new issue of EGM. Of course the recent news is the impending release of Nintendo's Wii and Sony's PS3. I imagine i'll have both before long, although i could honestly care less about the Wii. Veronica is into it though, so we'll check it out ... luckily it's by far the least expensive of the three next-gen systems. Waving the remote control-esque controller around to swordfight or control Mario might be fun. I have my doubts about its long-term appeal though, unlike most of my peers who are professionals in the video game industry.

A. Shevchenko			T. Henry
A. Lennon	T. Rosicky	M. Ballack	L. Garcia	D. Duff
S. Hyypia		J. Carragher	G. Heinze
J. Reina

With 0.57 credits to spare under my budget, even. Shevchenko and Ballack are good buys because they're undervalued, being newcomers to the Premiership. My only concern is the extent to which they'll both get playing time. If i was in José's shoes, Shevchenko would be starting every game, with Drogba and Kalou competing for the second striker spot. Ballack is a tougher nut ... Mourinho is adamant he'll play Lampard and the German together, and Makelele is an automatic starter in the holding midfield spot. But you have to figure Joe Cole, Arjen Robben, Michael Essien, Shaun Wright-Phillips, and Mikel Jon Obi are going to be fighting their way into the midfield, potentially limiting Ballack's time on the pitch.

Luis Garcia is a dependable goalscorer at Anfield, while Damien Duff is poised to get regular playing time and show his skills after his move to Newcastle. Aaron Lennon is a bit of a wild-card ... he emerged last season and earned himself a place in England's World Cup squad. But he's young. Can he continue his rapid ascension? Tomas Rosicky is another undervalued Premiership newcomer, but like all newcomers his experience may not instantly translate to English success.

Gabriel Heinze is also undervalued because he didn't play much at United last year because of injury. He had a decent World Cup and should be an automatic starter at Old Trafford again. My defense is otherwise straight outta Liverpool, featuring solid central defenders Jamie Carragher and Sami Hyypia in front of not-fabulous-but-benefitting-from-a-good-defense keeper Jose Reina.

A lot of my purchases were bargain hunts, in a successful effort to conserve funds to splash out on centerpiece striker Thierry Henry. Hopefully he doesn't go break his leg and leave me broke.

My novacaine wore off somewhere around 11:30am, which i noticed as i had my hand on my chin while working on my computer and gradually noticed that it didn't feel like i was palming a mask of my jaw anymore. However, i then had lunch with MIPS chums Fred and Jianghong, and my first cautious attempt to chew my udon sent shivers down into my mandible. A *little* temperature sensitive, my ass.

When i was a kid the dentist didn't pose any real fear to me ... even when i got the occasional cavity filled, i didn't mind the slight poke of the novacaine injection, and could blissfully ignore the burning smell as the drill worked its way down into a molar or two. While in Boston i had to get a cavity filled, and noticed that i seemed a bit more apprehensive about the whole process. I didn't remember the needle being so big ... i need some more novacaine because i'm feeling something ... did local anesthesia always make me this out of it? Today i visited my new dentist in Palo Alto to have a ouple of old fillings replaced, as he'd noted there was some decay around the edges. As of today i can officially say that i no longer like the dentist. I spent the fifteen minutes of drilling pinching my hand to distract my mind from the excavation going on in my mouth. He had to give me a second novacaine injection when he penetrated the first filling as a still sensitive nerve shot a jolt through my jaw. When he had succeeded in removing the old fillings and the minor decay that had accumulated underneath, i was thrilled that i had seen the last of the drill. My mood was shattered when the drill reemerged to whittle down the excess composite that had been laid down as a new filling.

The whole process was done in 45 minutes, but i barely tolerated it. Now i'm sitting at work with a numb mouth, speaking like apparently retarded Kramer from that Seinfeld episode, and feeling more than a little loopy. I think part of my problem is i need to refrain from scheduling this kind of work at 7am, when i'm fairly loopy to begin with. No offense to my dentist, he's great ... i just seem to have become a seven year old girl all of the sudden.

I think my advance copy of heroes Yo La Tengo's excellently titled new album I Am Not Afraid Of You And I Will Beat Your Ass is wonky. It clocks in at 62 minutes, not the 80 mentioned on Amazon. And an alarming number of the songs end in a fade out during music that sounds nothing like a conclusion. Suspicious.

Let's say i'm having a conversation with someone and come up with an apt euphemism to describe my thoughts ... today it was "keep your cards close to your chest". Once my brain has hit upon this particular phrase, i find myself working it into multiple conversations over the course of the next day or two. And i wonder if other people notice that i keep using this specific cliché, the way i notice i am. There goes the "cards close to your chest" guy. Hrm.

I returned from my east coast expedition on Saturday evening, the trip made much more enjoyable by the fact that i had upgraded to first class. I'm officially spoiled for airline travel now. Getting the royal treatment in first class makes it exceedingly difficult to return to coach. But i'd better get used to the idea as V and i will be doing just that in two short weeks as we head off to Hawaii.

Since last writing, i had a good time at the grant review. I was all set to go Sunday morning, but upon attempting to check in at 10am learned that registration for scientist reviewers didn't open until 1:30pm, and our first meeting was a plenary dinner at 5pm. So i spent the afternoon lounging in my room. Arriving at dinner i sat down at a table with open seats and introduced myself to several friendly fellow scientist reviewers. I met one very helpful more senior reviewer, who gave me a couple of valuable tips for ingratiating myself with my peers in my review panel. I also was excited to see that my old bioengineering friends and MRSC chums Savannah and Catherine were at the event, albeit in a different review panel. Our first review session was held after dinner from 7-10pm, but because one of our panel members was delayed and i happened to be reviewing most of my grants with him, i didn't have any input on the first night. After the panel adjourned, i met up with my UCSF friends for drinks at the hotel bar, where they introduced me to a host of colleagues from their panel. I awoke at 6:45am the next morning (3:45am for an as-yet unadjusted west coaster), had breakfast, and headed over to my panel's room. My delayed colleague had arrived, and as such we were the reviewers on the first four grants that morning. I was a bit unnerved at the thought of having my opinions pounded into dust by more senior reviewers, but that thought was pleasantly eradicated when we took our first coffee break and i chatted with my peers, who expressed very positive reviews of my comments. Emboldened, the rest of the day's work went smoothly. Our group had the fewest grants to review of any of the panels (32), and as such we completed our work by 4:30pm that afternoon. While most of our panel hurried off to catch afternoon flights, the few remaining gathered for a dinner at the nearby Reston Town Center. Mike Joiner, consumer reviewer Sandy Spivey, and chair Ralph Durand and i had a good meal and good conversation at a place called Clyde's. Returning to the hotel, i bid my new friends farewell and went to relax in my room.

Tuesday morning i again awoke early, and had breakfast with Savannah and Catherine. They were a bit peeved that i was done while they had another day of grant reviewing ahead of them, but said goodbye to me and expressed hope that we'd meet up again soon. Meanwhile i checked out of the hotel and caught a shuttle to the airport. Instead of heading into the terminal, i caught another shuttle to the rental car area and picked up my day's rental, a Cadillac DTS. I had selected the GPS navigation option when i booked the reservation, thinking it would be helpful in getting around downtown D.C. and down south to North Carolina, but was amazed that instead of an interactive map unit i got a glorified cell phone that i could use to call someone to get directions. WTF?!?! Luckily i had written down Google Maps directions from the airport to the National Mall in D.C., and was able to fight the morning traffic in the capitol to get there by 9:45am. As luck would have it, that allowed me to get a 3 hour parking space on the street adjacent to the Washington monument, which restricts parking from 6:30-9:30am. Booya. I spent three hours wandering around the National Mall, seeing the Washington monument, the Jefferson monument, the Franklin Roosevelt memorial, the Armed Forces memorial, the Korean War memorial, the Lincoln memorial, the Vietnam Wall, the World War 2 memorial, and the White House. Very nice ... check out my photo essay here.

By 12:30pm my legs were nearly dead, and i hopped in the car and began the trek down to Durham, NC. I didn't have a map and didn't think my GPS unit was worth the trouble, so i guessed that the 395 South would be a good start and drove off. I exited and got a road atlas at a 7-11, which confirmed that the 395 to the 95 to the 85 would get me where i wanted to go. My Cadillac had an auxiliary input jack for the stereo, so i kept an eye out for somewhere i could get a cable to plug in my iPod. I went to Radio Shack, Sears, Best Buy, and Target at various Virginia malls without success, finally succeeding at a second Radio Shack. Driving a little further, i found a Panera at which to have lunch, then got myself a grande mocha frap at a nearby Starbucks and settled in to drive. The journey was nice, made a little stressful by a thunderstorm that had my windshield wipers working overtime. I arrived at Raleigh-Durham airport around 6:30pm, and caught a taxi to the Durham Hilton, passing out after having a room service dinner and watching a few episodes of hotel favorite Law & Order.

My visit to Duke was very encouraging, spread over three days to survey the wealth of research going on at the burgeoning former tobacco mecca. I gave a talk at Radiation Oncology grand rounds on Thursday morning, which was very well received. For some reason, i had the perfect response to every question that came up, in a way which has happened only a few times in my history of scientific presentations. I got to see the surprisingly suave "Research Triangle" area, taking in three nice dinners with colleagues from Duke at Mediterranean, French, and Italian restaurants.

My flight home was scheduled for 4:58pm on Saturday afternoon, but of course i had to check out of the hotel by noon. Not wanting to explore the area with a suitcase in tow, i opted to head to the airport and amuse myself there for five hours. That amusement consisted of aborted napping attempts on uncomfortable gate seating, waiting in line for a half hour at the A&W for a burger and a root beer float, watching a ten year old go into meltdown at said restaurant, and reading a fairly lousy Gamepro magazine i'd bought since i'd already read that month's Electronic Gaming Monthly. I caught a few Z's on my short flight from RDU to Dulles, and explored the airport a bit while waiting for my 7:20pm connection to San Jose. I enjoyed the luxury of first class on the cross-country flight as mentioned above, getting a nice dinner (even featuring the ice cream sundaes parodied on a related episode of Seinfeld) then settling in to watch the in-flight movie Mission Impossible 3. That was okay ... Philip Seymour Hoffman is an excellently detestable villain and the action sequences are engaging, but the twist was fairly easy to figure out early in the film. We arrived in the south bay a few minutes early and i messaged Veronica, but was distressed to learn her and Bob had just sat down to dinner at Bombay Garden in San Mateo. Hrm. Something about this doesn't feel right. She said she'd be there quickly, to which i reminded her i was at San Jose, not San Francisco. Whoops. I sat with my luggage outside the terminal for a while before being fetched, at which point my mood had mostly deteriorated. She cheered me up enough that i agreed to go with her to that evening's New Wave City in SF, though. Unfortunately none of our friends were there so we mostly people watched until heading back home.

Sunday was spent reconnecting with doggie, with an interlude for lunch on Santana Row and shopping at Valley Fair. Arriving back at home, V passed out on the couch while i watched a bit of TV before doing the same on the bed at 9pm. Thus ended Sunday. Today i'm back at Stanford, rushing to put out fires and construct a plan for my group for late summer. Trips away always seem to motivate me and give me a bevy of ideas for the future, and this one was no exception. Plus, i've got two weeks to get things moving before i head away for another week, this time a combination of vacation and conference in Hawaii. Game on!

Speaking of game, i don't want to talk about Chelsea. I've got a very bad feeling about this season. Go blues. Prove me wrong.

On Tuesday i finished my grant reviews, including the last minute one that was added to my review list because of a previously unnoticed conflict of interest with its original reviewer. I'm in general happy with my comments, although after submitting the critiques and gaining the ability to see what my fellow reviewers thought of the same proposals, i may be in for some debate at the review meeting. Two of the grants i gave unfavorable reviews to got scores of "outstanding" and "excellent" from my colleagues, meaning i may be called upon to back up my negative comments. Luckily the ones i thought were good got unanimously positive reviews. Apparently i’m a tough reviewer … who knew.

I had a good week at work, with Ivana sending off her long-awaited first paper on the oxygen sensitivity of reporter genes, and me having several productive meetings and potentially initiating new projects. I still have to find myself a radiochemist, but as i now have funding for that i should be able to accelerate the process considerably.

On Wednesday i was called into one of several All-Star games for our Stanford intramural softball league by my coach Fred, because of a need for players for the game. Fred flubbed my qualifications a bit, as i don't think i qualify for the "Over 40 All-Stars" either by being over 40 or by being a particularly proficient softball player. It was fun though, with my team besting our opponents (who featured my Rays teammates Fred and Tom) by a final score of 21-14. I got in four good innings in right center, luckily not having to touch a ball out there. I also drove in a few runs, one off a good line drive single up the middle.

While at home, i occupied myself with completing the paint job in our back room. I can hear you already wondering, "Wait, didn’t you finish that like two weeks ago?" Yes, we did. Veronica had a change of heart regarding our choice of "fun yellow", so we bought a quart of "gambol gold" from Sherwin Williams after she saw it used in a color scheme similar to ours on an episode of ReDesign. She painted some test areas in the kitchen that got good reviews from both of us, so we proceeded to repaint the back room. After putting on two coats, we managed to keep finding patches that looked splotchy, but had eradicated those to our satisfaction by Thursday. The back room is once again complete, and looks very nice with Veronica's end table and a few knick knacks. She’s moving on to the kitchen this weekend.

My week got a lot busier than i expected it to on Friday. I knew the end of the work week was going to be hectic, as my day would be abbreviated by my jaunt up to SF to meet V and head to the Bloc Party/Broken Social Scene show. I also had to wrap things up for my trip back east for the grant review, for which i was flying off the next morning. At 1pm, i got a call that made things even more jumbled. I've been talking to some colleagues at Duke University about coming to give a talk for a while, and got a call to organize my visit. As it turns out, the most convenient date for everyone involved was … next week. Right after my grant review in Washington D.C. So my three day trip is now a week long, and required me to go online to find a one way flight from Durham back to the Bay Area. I ended up forgoing a flight from D.C. to Duke in favor of renting a car and making the six hour drive. That'll give me a chance to explore Washington a bit and to relax with my iPod on a long car drive.

I popped in at home after these whirlwind preparations to feed Tara, then caltrained up to meet V. The show was fantastic, but because of it i didn’t get home until 1:30am. About halfway through the show i realized my suitcase was buried behind the contents of Jenz and Jocelyn's apartment in the garage. The girls made amends by loaning me one, but as it hadn’t been used in a bit it had a pretty funky smell. I decided to wade into the garage and recover mine, which luckily only took five minutes and minimal reorganization.

So at the moment i'm on a plane, lounging in first class as i made the command decision to upgrade. Sweeeeet. I also upgraded my return flight from Durham to San Jose using my United Mileage Plus miles. What can i say, i've been spoiled. I've got two days to review grants, then one to see D.C. and drive down to North Carolina. Then a few days visiting scientists at Duke, during which i'll give an hour long seminar. Which means sometime in the next four days i have to prepare something to talk about. No sweat.

Because of my travel schedule V and i postponed celebration of our second anniversary. Two years ago this moment we were partying with friends and family at the Brazilian Room.

My excursions also mean i'm missing this weekend’s Peaches shows, as well as Editors on Monday at the Fillmore. That's the second Editors show i've missed because i was out of town. As Aaron Popscene told me at the Bloc Party show, being adult blows.

What also blows is that Chelsea lost their first preseason match, a 1-nil defeat at the hands of ... oh just shoot me now ... the freakin' MLS all-stars. Thank god i didn't watch that. I'm sure it was a parade of back-patting by the commentators/U.S. soccer spin team. It makes perfect sense to me, a team that undergoes as much turnover as Chelsea each summer definitely isn't going to be sharp in their first match together. Hopefully this is the case and not a convenient excuse to mask problems of the upcoming season.

Veronica and i saw Manu Chao and Kinky at the Greek Theater on Friday evening. Kinky was good. Manu Chao probably would have been better if i'd been stoned like 90% of the rest of the audience. We had Top Dog for dinner before the show. Mmmm.

I finished washing the majority of Veronica's laundry on Saturday. Not that exciting.

I played some more FIFA World Cup 2006 online, and won my first match. I played as Brazil, and bested Italy. Unfortunately, my victory was tempered by the obvious fact that my opponent was probably about eight years old, as evidenced by his high voice and constant chatter. I scored my second goal to go ahead 2-nil on a cross into the box that found Adriano completely unmarked. When this happened, i heard a shrill cry of "ohhh nooooooo!" from my rival. He managed to even the scores at two however. I won on a late goal by Ronaldo, and felt a little ashamed to be pumping my fist screaming "YESSS!", celebrating a win over someone 25 years younger than me.

I spent most of Sunday at work reviewing grants in anticipation of the DoD review session in Virgina i will be attending this coming weekend. Again, not that exciting. I was worried after reviewing two of my six assigned proposals because i trashed both of them. I thought i might be being too harsh, but luckily proposal #3 was excellent and got my seal of approval. Veronica meanwhile painted our kitchen gold, and began painting over our yellow back room as she's lost enthusiasm for the previous color. We had dinner with Dionne at the Palo Alto Creamery as she had flown up to Oakland for work for the next few days.

On Monday i reviewed some more grants, but came home early to clean out the garage so our friend Jenz and her roommate Jocelyn could store the contents of their apartment in there. They've just ended their lease on their place in the Excelsior district in SF, but haven't found a new place and therefore need storage space. I used this opportunity to borrow V's cousin's truck to take four old mattresses, my sister's broken futon, a few discarded shower doors from our bathroom, and an old Ikea entertainment center to the dump, making yet more space for J and J. By 12:30am, no less than four different vehicles had dropped loads off at our garage (some of them more than once), filling it to near capacity. Luckily we left ourselves a few well chosen pathways in which to maneuver.

August is upon us, which means the start of a fresh English Premiership campaign is only a few short weeks away. Inevitably, the spectacle of the World Cup took the summer focus away from the wheelings and dealings of club soccer. But now that Italy's triumph and Zidane's disgrace have faded into the recent past, i can take stock of Chelsea's fortunes in the offseason and make some primitive conjectures about the forthcoming footie season.

Shevchenko, Ballack, and the World All-Stars. For the fourth season running, the seemingly limitless wealth of club owner Roman Abramovich has allowed the Blues to pursue the biggest and brightest players, regardless of their current club affiliations or desire (or lack thereof) to move to England. This year the Londoners finally convinced long-term target Andriy Shevchenko to leave AC Milan, forcing the Italian club to accept a gargantuan £30 million bid for the player. Bayern Munich midfield general and free agent Michael Ballack was also lured by the Chelski millions, joining the club on a free transfer. The bitter, protracted fight between Chelsea and Manchester United over Nigerian teenage phenom Jon Obi Mikel was also resolved, and to no surprise Chelsea won the player and indifferently agreed to pay the mancs £12 million in compensation. Promising striker Salomon Kalou and third string keeper Hilario round out our summer buys. Not a bad offseason's shopping. However, the question as always is how José Mourinho will convince his pack of superstars to coexist.

Back four? Perhaps foremost in Mourinho's contemplations is how to organize his traditionally stalwart defense. With the sale of one-year misfit Asier Del Horno to Valencia, the need for a solid, preferably attack-minded left back intensified, and despite intense media speculation the purchase of England starter Ashley Cole from Arsenal has yet to materialize. In the past Mourinho has remedied his lack of a conventional left back by moving defensive guru William Gallas into that position from his prefered role at center back. However, Gallas has repeatedly declared his intention to leave Chelsea this summer after five successful years at the club. This battle between wantaway player and reluctant club has escalated with Gallas's absence from Chelsea's preseason camp in the United States. It is especially worrying since the partnership of Gallas and skipper John Terry in the heart of the back four has been the most stable and effective combination. If Gallas forces Chelsea's hand and leaves, Ricardo Carvalho will get his wish to be a regular member of the Blues' starting 11, but for me Gallas is the prefered option.

Eidur and Duff leave on the cheap. The most shocking Chelsea development of the summer was for me the departure of personal favorite Damien Duff for the unbelievable price of £5.5 million. Newcastle were the lucky benefactors of the deal, and receive a skilled and established winger who can create and score goals. I will remember Duff for his emergence in the Champions League campaign of 2003-2004 during his first season with the club, and particularly his breakaway goal in the second leg against Barcelona in 2005. I wish him the best at his new club, where he will be a starter whenever he's healthy and will get the playing time he couldn't regularly find at Chelsea. Newcastle however is coming off a disappointing season, and as yet are not poised to penetrate the upper regions of the Premiership table. Manchester United and particularly Tottenham were reported to be lining up considerably larger bids for the player, but Chelsea sold him for loss of £12 million to the northerners. The only reason i can deduce is that the addition of Duff to Spurs or United would've made them considerably more formidable foes, while Newcastle remains a work in progress.

Speaking of Barcelona, the man i once regarded as Gianfranco Zola's successor at Chelsea was sold to the Catalans. Eidur Gudjohnsen, who like Duff struggled to regularly win a place in the starting 11, joins the fantastically talented Spanish side who must remain favorites to defend their Champions League win in 2006. Another player i regard with the utmost respect, and who i wish continued success. One must predict however that Gudjohnsen will occupy the role Henrik Larsson left at Barça, namely coming off the bench as an attacking midfielder or striker to replace the prefered Samuel Eto'o, Lionel Messi, Ronaldinho, Ludovic Giuly, or Deco.

United get skinned on Carrick. Preparations for the upcoming season must of course consider the success our rivals have had in revamping their squads. The inability of Manchester United to bolster their squad in the transfer market has been big news, with the giants missing out on both Duff and Gudjohnsen as well as Franck Ribery and apparently Mahamadou Diarra. Worryingly, they've also lost Ruud Van Nistelrooy to Real Madrid, and rumors persist that tensions between Cristiano Ronaldo and manager Alex Ferguson and World Cup nemesis and United teammate Wayne Rooney will force the departure of the Portuguese winger. The mancs finally sealed their first purchase of the summer last week, shoring up their defense with the addition of Tottenham holding midfielder Michael Carrick for the outrageous fee of £18.6 million. And people talk about Chelsea overpaying. Carrick will hopefully bolster the beleaguered United defense, which has suffered since the departures of Jaap Stam and more recently Roy Keane. Question marks remain over United's offense however, despite the presence of superstar and rising Wayne Rooney. Despite a dip in form, Van Nistelrooy was a proven goalscorer for the team and his departure will not easily be addressed by the lackluster Louis Saha or the return from injury of Alan Smith.

Arsenal get Rosicky ... hrm. The Gunners' big move came before the World Cup as they signed Borussia Dortmund midfielder Tomas Rosicky. Rosicky proceeded to instill fear in me as i saw him singlehandedly demolish the U.S. in World Cup play with Czech Republic. However, he couldn't duplicate those highs in his country's next two group matches, and the Czechs were knocked out of the World Cup early. He enters an Arsenal midfield newly deprived of goal poacher Robert Pires, who left the club for Valencia, but still featuring talents like Freddie Ljungberg, Cesc Fabregas, and the possibly unsettled Jose Antonio Reyes. Thierry Henry remains the Premiership's deadliest striker, and the youthful Arsenal defense is solid despite the departure of the experienced Sol Campbell. The Gunners have in recent years been somewhat schizophrenic, excelling in either the Premiership or Champions League but not both. Nothing they've done in the offseason has convinced me they've bucked this trend, but we'll have to see how they perform on the pitch.

Liverpool sign a couple of shady characters. Chelsea's most consistent nemesis in the last few years, the scousers continue to loom as legitimate challengers to the Premiership throne. Analyzing their squad, striking has been the consistent problem, with beanpole Peter Crouch failing to take the league by storm and other strikers failing to impress manager Rafael Benitez. Of those, Fernando Morientes has now returned to Spain, and the unhappy Djibril Cisse has been sent on loan to France, broken leg and all. In their place, Benitez has brought in former Blackburn and Newcastle discipline case Craig Bellamy and Birmingham City winger and ex-convict Jermaine Pennant. Two players with undisputed potential, but also considerable off-field baggage. Benitez has worked wonders in producing a unified and well-balanced squad, and time will tell whether his gamble on these two delinquents will pay off. Steven Gerrard is desperate to win the title with the hometown club he stuck with despite flirtations with a big Chelsea payday, and sooner rather than later he's going to have to make good on his promises.

Shevchenko
Robben			J. Cole
Lampard			Ballack/Essien
Makelele
Bridge		Terry	Carvalho/Gallas	Ferreira
Cech

Blue review. Chelsea now boasts a squad featuring Petr Cech, John Terry,Ricardo Carvalho, Michael Ballack, Frank Lampard, Joe Cole, Michael Essien, Arjen Robben, and Andriy Shevchenko, each certainly in the shortlist for best in the world at their respective positions. How will they coexist? The past two years have shown that José Mourinho can massage the egos of his stars and convince them to sacrifice for the common good, and he will have to exercise that talent once more. I've conconcted a potential 4-5-1 starting lineup, which i think best exploits the strengths of the squad. Problems persist though, as without the widely anticipated signing of Ashley Cole we're forced to start Wayne Bridge, who has played well in his time at Chelsea but isn't the most impressive left back i can think of. Also, Ballack and Essien will be competing to partner with Lampard in the attacking midfielder positions, assuming Robben and Joe Cole will occupy the wing slots needed for a successful 4-5-1. As stated above i'd prefer Gallas in central defense, but pending the outcome of his feud with club management, Ricardo Carvalho may get the nod. Again, not an entirely unpleasant possibility, but not my preference. It's a squad with excellent depth at every position, and one that should quite rightly be expected to be winning every competition it enters. However, as with most all-star teams, the question is whether the whole be less than the sum of its parts. A worrying prospect, but one that i have every reason to believe Mourinho and co. will successfully avoid.

Liverpool awaits in the Charity Shield match in less than two weeks. Game on!