My curiosity kept me up late on Monday night as Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was playing on cable until 1:10am. I rate the first film as one of the best sci-fi flicks of all time, and despite the occasional inconsistency the second was right up there too. And not just because part of it was filmed in Fremont. I feel the story is particularly rich, and allows reflection on a number of topics beyond the usual "ooh, killer robots!" variety. However, to put it bluntly, the third installment is a festering pile of dog poop. This movie doesn't just fail to offer any insightful additions to the Terminator legacy, it is screaming to be removed from the canon completely. Whereas in Terminator 2: Judgement Day Schwarzenegger slowly picked up slang after being taught by a young John Connor, here he's a wise-cracking cyborg for no apparent reason. "Talk to the hand"?!?! The ridiculous lines come from all sides though, from the general responsible for Skynet: "It's our only chance!" (do people actually say that, or is it solely a movie expression?) to John Connor: "There's enough C4 to blow up 10 supercomputers!" (because we all know that supercomputers can withstand a hell of a blast). But wait, this suckfest touches on many other film clichés, such as standing around gawking at your temporarily incapacitated foe, as if waiting for it to get up so the chase maintains its suspense. The latest, greatest Terminator is a Robert Patrick-esque liquid metal girl that can control other machines ... even drive cars remotely despite the cars not having any machinery that might allow them to be controlled by anything other than someone in the driver's seat.

I want that extra hour of sleep back.