Judge favorite Melinda got booted from American Idol last night. This would concern me if a) i considered any of the AI "hopefuls" interesting artists, and b) i believed in the show's "America votes" policy. The Howard Stern news department has been airing a series of segments containing anonymous testimonials from current and former Idol employees. One suggests that the show's voting software was chosen in part because it precluded the generation of concrete voting records, to give the producers the ability to massage the results to fit their vision for a given season's evolution. The news squad also reports that it received evidence that Lakisha's post-show publicity tour had been booked to start immediately following her ousting ... before the supposed votes were cast. Of course, getting hard-nosed reporting from Howard Stern is like asking George Bush what's going on in Iraq. However, his news team did uncover one interesting and documentable tidbit. In the voting policies for Idol, it learned that the show reserves the right to exclude so-called "fraudulent votes", such as ones generated by someone using automated techniques to call repeatedly. How exactly they identify such votes is poorly defined, thus opening a potential method for the producers to mold the results. Is this how Sanjaya got dismissed? Who knows. It's not like the show has produced any worthwhile talent. Have you seen Kelly Clarkson's latest video? Egad. Been watching one too many god-awful Jared Leto/30 Seconds to Mars vids.

Speaking of reality TV, who in their right mind listens to anything that comes out of Tyra Banks's mouth? At this point, America's Next Top Model appears to be a weekly mass at her altar. At the end of each photo shoot, they make sure to display an old pic of Tyra from a similar shoot as if to say "anything you can do, she can do better". Perhaps this final sentiment isn't PC, but is there really any profound skill involved in this career? The frequent discordance between the judges' reviews and their verdicts seems to imply that it's all one bitchy crapshoot.

The other day Veronica mentioned that the O.M.D. song "So In Love" is downright retarded, and i have to agree.

Trailers for the new Harry Potter flick Order of the Phoenix are out. Don't care. I for one sincerely hope Rowling kills him off in the supposed final book this summer, although my hope that will end the series is probably futile. This movie will be the first one made from a book i haven't read. By the time the wonder of Hogwarts wore off, the series for me had become a second-rate fantasy yarn populated by a bunch of annoying adolescent jackasses.

Chelsea's season comes to a close this Sunday at the new Wembley stadium in the FA Cup final against Manchester United. And somehow, i'm almost rooting against my beloved. It's not like we deserve to be rewarded for this incredibly disappointing season. United have been clearly superior. We've been ravaged by injuries, stifled by infighting, and in general not especially imposing on the pitch. José Mourinho seems intent on sticking it to his bosses Roman Abramovich and Peter Kenyon, actually suggesting last week that he might play his third string goalkeeper Hilario as a striker. I'm sick of the team's commercial and footballing philosophies. Maybe a new manager will help. Maybe not. I've been comparing Chelsea and fellow dullards Liverpool with Spaniards Sevilla and Espanyol, who put on a cracking UEFA Cup final, and wondering if i'm just sick of the English league in general. At least i wouldn't understand the Spanish tabloid rants about the Liga Primera.

I am a hater. To be said in the broken English style of Björk's "Hunter".