If there's one overarching philosophical message that my life has repeatedly stressed, it's that joy and sadness are two sides of the same coin. Contentment has its own innate heavyheartedness, and likewise depression is commonly bourne of memories of a past happiness. That lesson has been again taught to me over the last week.

Last Wednesday V drove me to Oakland airport to meet up with Michael on the redeye to Chicago. The occasion was the Saturday wedding of our friend Bill, former drummer for the band Pete that Michael managed and i did web design and PR for. We got to O'Hare at 5:30am Thursday morning, and naturally i had completely forgotten to write down our hotel info. Remembering that we were in a Marriott of some sort (Residence Inn, Courtyard, whatever) and that it was off the Magnificent Mile, we hopped in a taxi and gave the cabbie those vague instructions. We ended up at the Courtyard by Marriott on Ontario Avenue, and were informed by reception that we had no reservation there. In fact, after calling the Marriott 800 number, we were told they couldn't find a reservation under my name anywhere in Chicago. Deciding to check into the Courtyard at a significantly higher rate than our previous reservation and sort things out when the hour became reasonable, we went upstairs. After getting out the phone book and calling a few places, i was cheerfully informed that the Residence Inn by Marriott on Walton Avenue had our reservation. So we checked out of the Courtyard not 30 minutes after checking in, with the helpful Thom Yorke look and sound-alike concierge letting us go free of charge. Thank god, as we were a bit suspicious that he wasn't able to locate our reservation at the Residence because he'd rather we pay him for a room at the Courtyard.

We had a four hour nap before grabbing some deep dish Chicago pizza and heading to Murphy's Bleachers, across the street from Wrigley Field, to have drinks with the Winsininski's (Bill's family) and the Hess's (Elizabeth's family). Bill gave Michael and i a big hug when we arrived. What was really special is that by that evening, after many Bud Lights and Old Styles, i felt completely at home in the company of Bill and Elizabeth's families. Me, the guy who has a near-pathologic history of being distant. It makes perfect sense: Bill is probably the most emotionally open person i've ever met. He's someone who places absolute value on relationships and friends. His family is just as welcoming, and naturally his fiancee and her family also share that same genuineness.

Michael and i cabbed home from Southport Lanes and Billiards around 10:30pm, having barely slept the night before. We awoke around 8:45am the next morning to hit the surprisingly good (and free) Residence Inn breakfast buffet. After a little midmorning nap, we then walked down Michigan Avenue to the Art Institute of Chicago and had a look at the modern and contemporary collections (mainly impressionism). Very nice. And not just because i kept having flashbacks to scenes from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. At 3pm we both decided it was time for a late lunch, and set off to check out what we'd heard was the best dog in Chicago, Superdawg on the northwest side. We mapped out how to get there by bus, and set off on the number 56. An hour later, we transferred to the 56A. Thirty minutes later, we at last arrived for, at this point, our early dinner. Very tasty. Nice decor too ... an old style drive-in. We decided the L was a more viable option for trip back downtown, and ended up walking 2 miles or so to the station, taking a 20 minute train ride, and walking another mile and a half to our hotel. My poor aching legs. That night we hit Bill and Elizabeth's rehearsal dinner at Harry Caray's Restaurant, where we got to meet up with other former Pete members Bo and Andrei and their girlfriends/fiancees. Then to the Coq D'Or at the Drake (site of the wedding reception) until 2am, concluding the evening with a trip with Bill's brother Greg and his wife Tara to Kingston Mines for some late nite blues.

Saturday morning we got a little chance to catch our breath, before getting into our finer duds and hopping on the bus at the Drake to go to the wedding. The ceremony was performed at The Shrine of Our Lady Of Pompeii, coincidentally not all that far from Superdawg. An extremely beautiful church built from 1910-1912, with the wonderfully animated Reverend Richard Fragomeni performing a full Catholic mass. Somehow even touching on the subject of penis enlargement. Then back to the Drake and the Grand Ballroom for sushi and drinks followed by an incredible 5 course meal. Somehow i became the butt of a joke instigated by the table next to us, where a collection of women took turns tapping me on the shoulder and telling me i was in their seat. This somehow concluded with Mr. Hess sitting on my lap, a photo of which is sure to surface sooner or later.

The night really got kicking when the DJ started spinning. Bill had told me his primary mission for the wedding was to make sure there would be decent music, and he succeeded. By the time "(Keep Feeling) Fascination" came on, Andrei, Bo, Bill, and i were out on the floor, and shortly thereafter an increasingly intoxicated Michael was tearing things up as well. Whether it was the several shots of tequila we did (keeping the memory of old Pete shows alive) or Michael's continually accelerating drink consumption, who knows. This came to a head twice, first when during some slam dancing to Blur's "Song 2" Michael went headfirst into a table along the dancefloor (miraculously reappearing on the dance floor seemingly instanstaneously), and second when, at the close of the reception with the music ending, he careened off the dance floor repeatedly shouting "Put the music back on! I wanna slap some more ass!" Andrei and i got him first into the downstairs bar for some water, and then a block down the street to our hotel, where he passed out.

I came back to for another hour or so, to say goodbye to Bill and Elizabeth. I gave Bill a hug and told him i missed him. I do. I'm selfish that way. Anyone who can give me this feeling of welcome and belonging, i want them in my life 24/7. It's why i was depressed when i left SF for Boston, it's why i was depressed when i left Boston for SF, and it's why i was depressed to say goodbye to the Winsininski's and the Hess's after four days. It's a bit unreasonable on my part, but i can't help it. Bill wears his heart on his sleeve, and i admire him for it. I place the same immense value on friends and family, but i'm not as overt in my expression of it.

After Michael slept off whatever untold quantities of alcohol he'd consumed the night before, we arose to have a sweet Irish breakfast and do some shopping. We then got an invite from Sean, a friend of Bill's from SF, to see the Chicago Fire game at Soldier Field. The rain held off for the most part, and we had nice seats just above the Fire supporter section. The Columbus Crew won 3-1, but it was a good afternoon nonetheless. Our flight left from O'Hare at 8:20pm, with me as usual disheartened to leave behind such special friends, but also thrilled that i was able to take part in Bill and Elizabeth's celebration. There is undoubtedly a sadness in knowing that the great times we'd just had are something that geographic and financial realities won't let happen every day. But that also creates a resolve to ensure that we remain in each others' lives through whatever means necessary.

"... through good times and bad ..." ... that's not marriage, that's life. Bill and Elizabeth, i love you both and am deeply grateful that you included me in your wedding day.