I was driving over to Fremont yesterday to set up the tux rentals for my wedding, and on the way i popped an old favorite, End On End by Rites of Spring. I discovered them in 1992, making a tape copy of my dorm roommate Pat's cd. This set off a whole series of memories, of my wild and largely formative year of 1992-1993, my first at Berkeley.

the world is my fuse

To be honest, i was scared s@$tless when i moved into Priestley Hall in Unit 3 in August, 1992. My new roommates Pat and Brooks were friendly enough, but the lack of familiarity never really let me relax. In retrospect, i have to wonder what my punk roommate Pat was thinking when i found him pawing through my Slaughter and Poison cds. Despite my bashfulness, Pat and Brooks were always inclusive of me. On our second weekend, they invited me to a show at 924 Gilman, featuring Neurosis, Plaid Retina, and a couple of other punk bands. Translated into my mindset: four bands and a venue i'd never heard of. I tagged along for the experience though, wearing a Cure t-shirt from the Wish tour the previous summer. Anyone who's been to the graffitied DIY punk warehouse that comprises Gilman can appreciate how out of place i looked. Pat and Brooks were happy to let me hang on to their coattails though. I remember Pat asking "hey, isn't that Jello Biafra over there?" Brooks responded "yeah, i think it is!" We walked over and had a five minute conversation with this older guy, most of which was greek to me as i had no idea who Jello or the Dead Kennedys were at the time.

there will always be a moon over marin

My education was just beginning, and i'm not (just) referring to linear algebra and chem 1A. Pat and Brooks quickly introduced me to a wide world of independent and underground music to which i'd previously been oblivious. My year membership to Gilman soon got further use, as i started drifting away from my more mainstream musical history. I remember going to a co-op party at Casa Zimbabwe. A group of us were standing around drinking 40's of Mickey's (another new experience), when Pat looked over at the band playing and said "hey, this is a Green Day song". About fifteen minutes later, Pat again glanced at them and amended his previous statement, again in nonchalant fashion: "oh wait, it is Green Day". This was about 8 months before the whole Dookie explosion, and i had little idea who or what Green Day was. My sister Hilary, a subsequent Green Day disciple, swore up and down i made that story up.

i am sending a message from deep in a hole
of a rudderless ship that is out of control

Punk segued into ska through bands like Culture Shock, Operation Ivy, and Citizen Fish, and before long i was tagging along to ska shows in the city. I remember skanking at my first Dance Hall Crashers gig and thinking it was the most fun i'd ever had at a show. For a week (literally, seven days and only seven days), Pat and Brooks developed an interest in techno. That weekend we went to a rave at DV8 in San Francisco. We spent the first few hours in the outside area, before they decided to close it at 3am, forcing 500 people to enter the club through one doorway. Waiting in the mob, i heard a bottle crash, looked to my left, and saw my friend Sierra falling over. Someone outside the fence had lobbed a bottle in. The club management, fearing a lawsuit, quickly rushed her inside, leaving the other 8 of us outside wondering what happened to her. After several nasty encounters with club security, we finally learned she was taken to a nearby hospital, and we spent the rest of the night in the emergency room. Maybe that was what killed techno for us.

merchandise keeps us in line

I could go on and on with stories ... random acts of vandalism, late night hikes on the fire trail behind Memorial Stadium, taking a road trip to Santa Rosa at 4am for no good reason, seeing Fugazi on lower Sproul plaza after wandering around Berkeley all night long. I'll save those for other posts. Despite all my new interests, i never felt really comfortable. My friends never made me feel unwanted, but somehow i did that to myself. I'm sure if you asked Pat or Brooks now, they'd admit that i was pretty distant. That's something i regret to this day. I know i wouldn't be in the position i'm in today had i not had these ups and downs. It's strange, when you think that the person you are is the result of a precise series of causes and effects, choices and consequences. If history had gone otherwise, the result would be different, and yet here you are. Comforting and worrying all at once.