My parents got me a Monty Python daily 2004 calendar for my desk for Christmas. We're only 6 days into the new year, and i can't stop friggin laughing. They split a sketch up over several days, so the jokes just keep building. I wasn't even familiar with this bit.

January 2

Prince: My congratulations, Wilde! Your latest play is a great success. The whole of London's talking about you. Oscar Wilde: There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

January 3/4

Wilde: Your majesty, have you met James McNeill Whistler? Prince: Yes, we've played squash together. Wilde: There is only one thing worse than playing squash together, and that is playing it by yourself ... I wish I hadn't said that. James Whistler: You did, Oscar, you did.

January 5

Wilde: Your majesty is like a big jam doughnut with cream on the top. Prince: I beg your pardon? Oscar: Um ... it was one of Whistler's. Whistler: I never said that. Oscar: You did, James, you did. Whistler: ... Well, Your Highness, what I meant was that, like a doughnut, um, your arrival gives us pleasure and your departure makes us hungry for more.

January 6

Whistler: Your Highness, you are also like a stream of bat's piss. Prince: What? Whistler: It was one of Wilde's. One of Wilde's. Wilde: It sodding was not! It was Shaw! Bernard Shaw: I ... I merely meant, Your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.

What rolls down stairs? Rolls over in pairs? Rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack? And fits on your back? It's log, log, log! It's log, it's log It's big, it's heavy, it's wood It's log, it's log It's better than bad, it's good! Go out and get your log! You're gonna love it, log!